A Dating Tip for Men: When She Likes You, She’ll Help You Out

Plenty of men dating today may find this idea strange, but it's true: when a woman likes you, she'll actually help you along and encourage you. The way I see it, a lot of guys are carrying around these myths:

• Playing hard to get is what women do.
• Relationships are difficult
• Just hang on long enough, and one day she'll notice how great you are

Here's the thing, and it may sound like Captain Obvious just crashed your article: women are not idiots (whatever some guys believe). In fact, it's quite the opposite, my friend. When it comes to dating and relationships, they're so far ahead of lots of guys that they could doze off and you'd still be racing to catch up.

Some guys assume women have no clue what they do and don't like. Guess what? They know.

Step One: Pass Her Physical Attraction Test

The trouble is that guys have seen too many bad romantic comedies in which the hero begins as her 97th choice (at best), and then, by the time the credits roll, he's magically become her dream man. Next thing you know, they're about to settle into a Maine cottage, have eight kids, and/or launch a business together.

I'd love to pen a REAL romantic comedy, except the hero wouldn't get a happy ending. My version opens the same way: he's her 97th choice, he sticks around, and he becomes her closest confidant. Then, as the credits roll, there he is, first in the buffet line at her wedding, since she gave him a seat at the head table. There he sits, glumly chewing his prime rib as she takes the dance floor with her new husband.

If a woman is attracted to you, she'll send you positive signals.

From the moment she meets you, a woman knows whether you've got a chance. I call this the Physical Attraction Test. You might call it chemistry, a spark, or fireworks. Either way, her first thought has to be “Yeah, he’s got a shot.” Sure, you can still blow it. In my coaching practice, I've heard plenty of stories about guys who started strong and ended up booked into the heartbreak hotel, but that's a story for a different article.

Bottom line: on a woman's interest scale, you land somewhere from 0% to 100% attraction. The nearer to 100% she starts, the better your odds. Suppose she likes her guys shorter and dark-haired, and you're the King of Sweden. You're out, because you're far too tall and blond for her. Nothing you say, do, or give will change that; she simply isn't drawn to you, because you aren't her type.

A Woman Who's Attracted to You Makes Dating Her Easy

Pass her Physical Attraction Test, though, and (wait for it) she'll actually make it simple for you to take her out. That holds true most of the time.

She'll touch your arm, pick up when you call, laugh at your jokes, say yes to dates, and bring up future plans with you. And (dare to dream) you might genuinely enjoy yourself and relax around a woman who obviously wants you nearby.

I warned you this article would go against every bit of bad advice floating around, the kind that implies wrestling a bear who thinks you're after its food would be easier than building something good with a woman.

Mutual Attraction Makes Dating Easy

When a woman likes you back, getting into a relationship with her won't be hard. There's no need to climb Mount Everest backward carrying only a windbreaker and half a sports drink, which is exactly what it feels like when you're trying to talk a woman whose interest in you sits at 34% into going out with you.

Even if every other line of my book “TheSystem/Dating Dictionary” slips your mind, please remember this:

When women like you, they help you.

Those few words by themselves can spare you loads of time and money. Take them to heart right now!