Using Erotic Blueprints™ to Understand Your Sex Life

The Short Version: Sex coach Stacie Ysidro believes that tapping into your sexuality’s power is the most profound way to change your life. She spoke with us about her coaching work, self-actualized sexual experiences, and how the Erotic Blueprints™ can shed light on the way you experience pleasure.

Sex never came up when I was a kid. It was nearly a dirty word, though not quite. Growing up in the Bible Belt, the confusing and hardly subtle messaging I got boiled down to this: Sex is mostly bad, it can be good once you’re married, and we won’t say anything more about it.

Naturally, I had to work out plenty on my own. I could talk for hours about why we need comprehensive sex education and everything it does for people; research shows it lowers rates of teen pregnancy, STIs, and risky sexual behavior.

Keeping you safe is only part of it, though. Comprehensive sex ed also prompts you to reflect on your own sexual experiences and sexuality. Some of us never got it, and we lack the words to make sense of our sex lives or discuss them.

Stacie told us about sex coaching and the Erotic Blueprint™ that JAIYA developed.

A healthier relationship with sex starts with being able to talk about it. Don’t worry if you can’t, or aren’t sure how. You can learn at any age, and the earlier you start, the more your life and relationships will benefit.

Sex coach Stacie Ysidro teaches people the vocabulary they need to live self-realized, empowered sex lives, and shows them how to use it. She spoke with us about erotic blueprints and how she applies them when guiding clients through an exploration of their sexuality.

Once you embrace your sexuality fully, you’ll notice a shift in how you look for and build relationships.

Discovering your erotic blueprint does more than deepen your relationship with yourself. It also deepens your bond with your current partner or anyone you date later on.

“What I found, and what created my passion, is that so many people need to hear that nothing is wrong with them, sexually,” Stacie said. “There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re not broken. We just don’t have all the information, we haven’t been given it, or we’ve been given the wrong information.”

Holistic Progressions Supports Healing & Empowerment

Stacie founded her practice, Holistic Progressions, in 2010. Her varied personal and professional background makes her an ideal sex coach for people who live alternative lifestyles.

Stacie worked as a cosmetologist before she found sex coaching. “I realized what had made a difference in my life was all the coaching and mentoring I received during my career,” she told us. “Not necessarily learning how to give a perfect haircut.”

Working in cosmetology opened lots of doors for professional development, and one of them introduced Stacie to life and business coaching. She chose to get certified, and her training required her to pick a specialty.

Stacie draws on her distinctive life and career experience to help clients embrace their sexuality.

“They take you through this whole process, and the themes in my life were spirituality and sexuality,” Stacie said. “And I knew that a lot of people were really uncomfortable talking about these two things, and I was comfortable with it.”

After leaving her salon, Stacie sought out further sex coaching training and education. The World Association of Sex Coaches recognizes her as a sex coach, and she’s also a Certified Erotic Blueprint™ Lead Coach.

With sex, there’s truly no one-size-fits-all approach, which is where your Erotic Blueprint™ comes into play. Sex expert JAIYA created the Erotic Blueprint™. She also trained and certified Stacie in it, and Stacie relies on it daily to help clients understand themselves more deeply.

“I’ve followed JAIYA since the beginning of my journey,” Stacie told us. “I was one of the first group of coaches that got certified for Erotic Blueprint.” 

What the Blueprints Reveal in Coaching

The Erotic Blueprint™ maps out five distinct blueprint types. Here’s how JAIYA’s Blueprint describes them:

• Energetic: “Bring deep emotional, physical, and spiritual depth”
• Sensual: “Bring incredible sensory, full-body consciousness”
• Sexual: “Bring the fun, passion, and play” 
• Kinky: “Bring never-ending heat, taboo, and creativity”
• Shapeshifter: “Bring dynamism, variety, and creativity”

In Stacie’s view, all of us are shapeshifters. “We believe we’re all a mixture of all of them– we’re the shapeshifters,” she explained. “We have stuff we like and don’t like, and that shifts over time.”

Phases and stages make up one pillar of the Erotic Blueprint™, which rests on three. Stacie described them as the various points in life when we want different things. Our sexuality, and how we experience it, is fluid, and it will change a great deal over the course of our lives.

Alongside the five paths to pleasure and the idea of stages, the notion of obstacles and pathways forms the base of the Erotic Blueprint™.

So the Erotic Blueprints™ rest on three pillars: the five blueprint types; the states and stages we pass through sexually; and obstacles to pathways. Combined, they turn us into erotic detectives.

“Maybe there’s a physical obstacle, maybe we’re physically healing from something,” Stacie said. “It could be something biological or emotional.” An obstacle is anything that keeps you from reaching pleasure, and exploring your Erotic Blueprint™ teaches you to deal with those obstacles with care.

With the Erotic Blueprint™, you gain the vocabulary to make sense of the stages, obstacles, and pathways to pleasure in your life. It nudges you to examine your desires and experiences so your sex life can become more intimate and actualized.

Knowing your Erotic Blueprint™ equips you for a better sex life.

“We can take obstacles and make them superpowers,” Stacie said. “The blueprint gives us the language so we speak to what’s going on.”

According to Stacie, clients who arrive with all kinds of concerns can find answers and healing through the Erotic Blueprint™.

“People come to us and they’re in a space where they know something is different, but they’re not sure what,” she said. “They’re interested in shifting their attitudes, ideas, values, and beliefs around sexuality, relationships, intimacy, and communication. The Blueprint gives us the language and tools to do that.”

What Sex Coaching Really Involves

A coach trained in a tool such as the Erotic Blueprint™ is a promising sign that you’re in the right spot to start embracing your sexuality. Picking the right guide for questions about sexuality and sexual health matters a lot, and before you begin, you should understand how sex coaching differs from sex therapy.

In her coach training, Stacie learned how sex coaching and therapy differ, and which people and problems each one is suited to.

“They’re entirely different spheres,” Stacie said. “Therapy is the medicalized approach that focuses on the past helping people to come present. Coaching acknowledges the past is present, and it is future-focused without medicalization or pathologization.” 

At Holistic Progressions, Stacie helps her clients learn, grow, and self-actualize.

Sex coaching hands you tools to improve every aspect of your sexuality. Even more valuable than those tools is the language it gives you to discuss your sexual experiences openly and expressively.

“One of the reasons I pursued Erotic Blueprint is because it’s such a fantastic teaching tool,” Stacie said. “I can give someone a resource for teaching and education that we can focus on, and use, and actually start a conversation.”

Sexual health matters every bit as much as physical or emotional health; if things aren’t going well sexually, your overall well-being and the rest of your life will feel it. Caring for your sexuality matters most of all in relationships, and you can start at any point.

“The quality of our lives is based on the quality of our relationships, which is based on the quality of how to navigate conflict,” Stacie said. “What we choose to do with what appears to us is going to determine that quality.”