A Matchmaker Names 6 Traits of People Who Date Well

Over my 27 years as a professional matchmaker, I've seen the dating landscape transform alongside new technology and shifts in society.

Daters have had to figure out texting etiquette, dating apps, the #MeToo movement, pandemic dating, and changing ideas about gender roles. With so much noise out there, how do successful daters stay on course and form connections so easily?

From what I've seen, the daters who do best share these core qualities:

1. Communicating Clearly

Every relationship depends on effective communication. Great daters know how to voice their needs, pose engaging questions, and help the person they're with feel seen and understood.

They show real interest in whoever they're out with by moving past shallow small talk and genuinely getting to know their date. A great first date, they know, comes down to listening more than you talk.

2. Self-Confidence

Confidence is sexy. It can even compensate for other flaws. Still, the best daters know how to temper it with humility. They realize that bragging and name-dropping are a major turn-off. Their confidence comes from self-awareness, and it puts their date at ease right away.

3. A Growth-Oriented Mindset

Dating isn't for the faint of heart! You have to be able to handle rejection, deal with setbacks, experience failure, and keep going. Resilience is a must.

Growing your confidence and charisma takes practice and time.

People who succeed treat setbacks as chances to grow and improve. They know plenty of dates won't turn out to be the one, but they see each encounter as a chance for growth. They consider what went well and what didn't, and they look for the lessons in every experience.

4. An Upbeat Outlook

Successful daters go into dating with optimism, not cynicism. They trust that the right person exists, and they look for reasons things could go right instead of dwelling on all the ways it could go wrong.

Their optimism about finding a meaningful connection makes them more appealing to potential partners.

5. Lives That Already Feel Full

The right relationship will enrich your life, but great daters don't depend on one for their happiness right now. Their lives are already full, with friendships, careers, travel, and hobbies that bring them love.

That independence makes them appealing partners, since they add to a relationship instead of just waiting to receive. The daters who do best bring real value to a relationship.

6. Being Willing to Wait

We all know the old line about good things coming to people who wait. In dating, it often proves true. Meeting the right person takes time. Successful daters don't force a connection; they trust the process.

They know instant chemistry can feel great in the moment but doesn't signal true compatibility.

They look for the ability to laugh easily together, mutual effort, and shared values. They focus on the traits of a good life partner.

The Good News: You Can Learn Every One of These Skills

For almost three decades, I've made successful matches, and my secret is careful client selection. I seek out singles who are positive, self-aware, confident, and growth-oriented, and who know how to communicate well.

Singles like these are prime relationship material, and I'm confident I can place them in wonderful relationships! They're able to trust the process, and me, because their lives are already beautiful and fulfilled, and they're willing to wait for a partner who adds to the joy they already feel.
If you're single and dating without the luxury of a professional matchmaker, keep in mind that success depends more on your mindset than on someone else picking the perfect match for you!