Dating and Relationships After Divorce: How Americans Handle It

A divorce can wear you down emotionally and mentally, so it’s no surprise that plenty of divorced Americans think twice before diving into the dating pool again. Yet is dating after divorce really as grim as some believe? Among divorced Americans, more than 1 in 6 are actively dating, and many of them have high hopes of finding love again.

To learn how they approach the dating scene and cope with the hurdles that love and relationships throw at them, we surveyed over 600 divorced Americans.

Dating Once You’re Divorced

After a divorce, it isn’t easy to let yourself date again and welcome romance back in. Close to half (47%) of respondents say dating is generally harder for divorcees. Over 1 in 4 think a stigma surrounds dating after divorce, which could explain why 2 in 5 would rather date someone who has been divorced too.

Even with those challenges and that stigma, 17% of divorced Americans are dating actively. Broken down by generation, 50% of divorced millennials are on the dating scene, compared with 23% of baby boomers, 31% of Gen X, and 40% of Gen Z. And how often do divorced Americans go out? For 1 in 4, it’s at least once a month.

Dealing with an ex-spouse once you’re dating again can get tricky, and the vast majority of divorced Americans (90%) don’t tell their ex when they start seeing someone. When dating someone new, 29% keep their divorce to themselves on a first date. That topic typically comes up on the second or third date instead.

Searching for a partner or for love is hard, particularly the second time around, and 49% of the divorcees we surveyed say they feel hesitant about dating after divorce. Respondents also describe feeling anxious (40%), skeptical (41%), and nervous (44%). Even so, 32% of daters say they feel hopeful.

Finding Love Again After Divorce

A divorcee’s emotional state may determine whether they’re dating, and 34% of respondents said they don’t feel fully recovered from their divorce. Divorce has also dampened the wish to remarry: most respondents (65%) say they don’t want to marry again. Still, 51% say they hope to find love once more!

Everyone follows their own timeline when it comes to divorce and dating. In our survey, though, 39% of respondents said they started dating again before their divorce was finalized. Respondents who held off until the divorce was final waited roughly one year before getting back into the dating pool.

More than half (51%) wish they hadn’t married their ex-spouse, whereas 49% don’t regret the marriage even though it ended. Shifting desires may play a part in that, and 1 in 6 divorced Americans say their sexual preferences have changed since the divorce.

Dating Apps and Sites for Divorced Singles

Whether you’re divorced or simply single, dating apps and websites rank among today’s most popular ways to meet people. Over 2 in 5 divorcees use apps or sites for dating, and 33% of those users say they’re online dating actively.

Dating apps come with their own problems. Among divorced users in our survey, 68% name fake profiles or misleading details as the biggest one. Over two-thirds (67%) also say finding people online with similar values or life goals is hard, and roughly 25% feel their compatibility options are limited.

Divorced Americans aren’t keeping their divorce a secret: 3 in 4 list it on their dating profiles, and 59% (more than half) also note openly in their profiles that they have kids.

Dating When You’re a Divorced Parent

Post-divorce dating can already feel like rough terrain, and kids from an earlier relationship can make it rougher still. Among divorced respondents with kids, 27% make a point of keeping their children out of their dating life.

Almost 2 in 5 respondents said their children don’t meet a partner until the relationship turns serious, and 89% agree parents should hold off on introducing their kids to someone they’re seeing. On dates, 28% leave their kids out of first-date conversation, while 19% go out only when the children are with a trusted sitter or the ex-partner.

Not every divorced American has young kids who need a sitter. Among those whose children are grown, 27% said they bring them into their dating lives. Grown kids tend to back their parents’ search for love, and 68% of parents are aware of that support.

Methodology

We surveyed 616 Americans who self-reported as divorced in April 2024, asking how they approach dating and romance after divorce. Respondents were between 24 and 84 years old, and their average age was 52. Of them, 26% identified as male, 73% as female, and 1% as non-binary.

On average, respondents have been divorced for 13 years, and they were 39 years old on average at the time of their divorce.