Which U.S. States Are the Best Romantic Matches?

Meeting your forever person is hard, and figuring out when and where it’ll happen can seem like pure luck. But what if we could remove the guesswork and steer you the right way?

With this study, we wanted to crack the code of romantic compatibility from state to state across the U.S.

We polled residents in each state and had them rate a range of traits they want in a partner. The aim? To find out which states line up most closely when it comes to picking a romantic partner.

After analyzing the answers, we paired each state with its closest match according to how alike their responses were, which turned up some fascinating findings about which states have the most in common in what they want from a partner. Want to know your state’s perfect match? Let’s look at the data and find out where love might be waiting.

Revealed: The Best Match for Each State

While hunting for the most compatible states, we found several perfect matches based on what residents prefer.

Each State's Perfect Match

Here are some of those state-to-state pairings, along with a couple of the things they have in common.

Montana and Oregon

• 91% of Montanans and 89% of Oregonians would choose a partner who shares thoughts and feelings openly and right away over one who weighs things carefully and might wait to share.
• 82% of Montanans and 80% of Oregonians say they’d rather have a partner whose spirituality isn’t religious than one who holds their faith dear.

New Hampshire and Rhode Island

• 92% of people in New Hampshire and 91% in Rhode Island want a partner who deals with conflict right away and resolves it head-on rather than letting it fester.
• 69% of people in New Hampshire and 72% of Rhode Islanders would pick a partner who puts saving and long-term financial security ahead of spending on experiences together today.

Mississippi and Missouri

• 85% of Mississippians and 87% of Missourians want a partner who spends weekends at home on personal pursuits instead of going out and socializing.
• 65% of Mississippians and 64% of Missourians want a partner who puts other goals ahead of starting a family and having kids.

States With More Than One Match

Plenty of states found their perfect match, but a handful stood out by attracting several.

Oklahoma and Pennsylvania: A Perfect Pairing

Oklahoma and Pennsylvania lined up remarkably well in what they want romantically. These are a few traits both value in a partner:

• Emotional Support: 86% of Oklahomans and 87% of Pennsylvanians want a partner who offers comfort and emotional support when times are hard, rather than one who gives them space.
• Structured Lifestyle: 59% of Oklahomans and 61% of Pennsylvanians would rather have a partner with a structured life built around routine than one who likes to live flexibly and spontaneously.

Oklahoma: A Match for Many

Pennsylvania may have been Oklahoma’s perfect match, but Oklahoma turned out to be a top pick for a number of other states. Here’s who matched with Oklahoma and the partner traits they share:

• New Mexico: Most people in both states want a partner who deals with conflict right away and resolves it head-on rather than letting it fester unresolved.
• Arizona: A majority in each state wants a partner who puts other goals ahead of starting a family and having kids.
• Iowa: Most residents of both states want a partner who spends weekends at home on personal pursuits instead of going out and socializing.

South Carolina and Texas: Ideal Matches

South Carolina and Texas proved highly compatible in their romantic preferences. A couple of things both value in a partner:

• Physical Affection: 83% of South Carolinians and 82% of Texans want partners who show affection through physical touch, like hugs and kisses, more than through words of affirmation.
• Financial Planning: 79% of South Carolinians and 80% of Texans want a partner who puts saving and long-term financial security ahead of spending on experiences together.

South Carolina: A Popular Choice

Texas was South Carolina’s perfect match, yet several other states also picked South Carolina as a favored partner. Some of the values they share:

• North Carolina: Most residents of both states want a partner who holds their faith dear rather than one whose spirituality isn’t religious.
• Kentucky: People in both states lean toward a partner who puts financial planning and security ahead of spending on experiences together right now.
• Louisiana: People in both states usually want partners with a structured life built around routine rather than a flexible, spontaneous one.

Texas, likewise, was the perfect match for several states. A few of the preferences they have in common:

• Georgia: Both states’ residents want partners who show affection through physical touch, like hugs and kisses, more than through words of affirmation.
• Arkansas: People in both states want partners who share thoughts and feelings openly and right away instead of holding off. Their lifestyle preferences split, though: 52% of Arkansans lean toward a spontaneous, flexible way of life, whereas 59% of Texans want structure and routine.
• Delaware: A majority in both states wants partners who spend weekends at home on personal pursuits instead of going out and socializing.

Surprise! These States Are More Compatible Than You’d Think

Love sometimes turns up where you’d least expect it. Below are a few surprising state pairings that might not look like natural matches at first glance but share values that make them compatible.

“The most fascinating aspect of this research is that states where people are politically diametrically opposed seem to be great matches!” relationship expert Kenji Takahashi said. “Perhaps this research is a sign that our country is coming together and the values we place within our intimate relationships — communication, conflict style, or exploration of different places — are more important than our political allegiances.”

Kansas and New York

Kansas, with its wide plains and rural way of life, stands in sharp contrast to the hustle of New York City. Even so, what they value in a partner draws them together. A few qualities both look for:

• 92% of residents in both Kansas and New York want a partner who deals with conflict right away and resolves it head-on rather than letting it fester unresolved.
• 62% of Kansans and 61% of New Yorkers want a partner who loves traveling often and seeing new places over one who values stability and staying put for long stretches.

Massachusetts and Washington

Massachusetts and Washington may seem worlds apart, but a shared appreciation for physical affection and personal goals makes them an excellent pair. Among the traits both put first in a partner:

• 80% of people in Massachusetts and 82% in Washington want a partner who shows affection through physical touch, like hugs and kisses, more than through words of affirmation.
• 63% of people in Massachusetts and 63% in Washington want a partner who puts other goals ahead of starting a family and having kids.

Hawaii and Minnesota

Hawaii’s easygoing island lifestyle and tropical weather are a far cry from the frigid winters and Midwestern sensibility of Minnesota. Yet a common taste for structure and a secular take on spirituality forms an unexpected bond between them. Here’s where they lined up most closely:

• 65% of Hawaiians and Minnesotans want a partner with a structured life built around routine over one who likes to live flexibly and spontaneously.
• 75% of Hawaiians and Minnesotans would rather have a partner whose spirituality isn’t religious than one who holds their faith dear.

Other Surprising One-Sided Matches

These unlikely pairings show that compatibility can rise above geographic and cultural gaps, proof that love really has no borders.

“The best news from this study is that it illustrates that people have far more in common than not. Humans are wired to bond. Love is good for our mental and physical health,” Kenji Takahashi commented. “And ideas that people are incompatible based on stereotypes about rural versus urban, liberal versus conservative, or religious versus atheist, can easily go by the wayside when two people lock eyes and a chemical reaction called love takes over. “Love draws even the most unlikely people together.”

• Nebraska is Florida’s perfect match.
• Colorado is Nebraska’s perfect match.
• Florida is Michigan’s perfect match.
• Arizona is Wisconsin’s perfect match.

Whether it’s the Midwest pairing up with the East Coast or Florida’s tropical vibe linking up with Nebraska in the heartland, these one-of-a-kind matches prove that the best pairings are sometimes the ones you’d never predict.

Final Thoughts

Our survey uncovers intriguing parallels and unexpected overlaps between states in what people want romantically. From the heartland to both coasts, the qualities people look for in a partner clearly can span geographic and cultural divides, resulting in some surprising perfect matches.

The results show that even with regional differences, people across state lines share common wants and values. Who knows? Your ideal partner could be only a few states away!

Want to go further into dating and relationships? Browse the rest of our site for further intriguing articles and deep-dive research. Our articles will keep you informed and inspired as you look for the perfect match.

Methodology

This analysis aimed to find out which U.S. states share the most similar romantic partner preferences, based on survey answers. We polled 2,400 Americans in 46 states (see the note below) on their preferences, having them rate a range of traits on a scale running from strongly disagree up to strongly agree. Next, we worked out each state’s average score for every question.

To compare states, we used Euclidean distance, which measures how far apart two points are in a straight line. Here, a shorter distance means more similar preferences. We converted the distances into “similarity values” (one per state), which reveal how close each state’s preferences came to those of its most similar counterpart. The lower the value, the greater the similarity.

Using these similarity values, we found each state’s closest partner, which shows the states whose taste in partners overlaps the most.

Not included because too few people answered the survey: North Dakota, Alaska, South Dakota, and Wyoming.