47% of Singles Say Honesty Is the Trait That Matters Most in a Partner

Close to half (47%) of the U.S. singles surveyed say that in a romantic partner, no trait matters more than honesty. That’s the finding of “The State of Us: National Study on Modern Love & Dating in 2025,” a survey carried out with the Kinsey Institute.

The survey had 2,000 American singles pick the three traits they prioritize most in a romantic partner. Across demographics, honesty came out ahead of financial stability, physical attraction, and sexual competence, ranking as the most sought-after quality.

With dating app filters and carefully curated profiles everywhere, daters want authenticity more than anything. Online dating and social media tend to put looks on display and hide how people really behave. Singles want more than that: partners who are upfront and genuine as they build a connection.

Kinsey Institute scientists set out to take the measure of today’s dating landscape and find out what daters value most as they pursue relationships.

On Honesty, Men and Women Agree

Is honesty really the best policy? Modern daters say it is. Perhaps surprisingly, men rate honesty in a romantic partner just as highly as women do.

In our study, men (47%) and women (46%) put nearly the same weight on honesty in relationships, each naming it their number one trait.

So what else do singles look for in a potential partner?

Asked to pick their three most important relationship traits, our respondents put kindness, physical attraction, and shared values, along with a good sense of humor, among the most important.

Below are the 10 traits cited most often. Each percentage shows how many people put that trait in their top three:

• Honesty – 47%
• Kindness or compassion – 36%
• Physical attraction – 30%
• Shared values – 29%
• Humor – 25%
• Dependability or reliability – 23%
• Communication skills – 22%
• Emotional intelligence – 19%
• Similar lifestyle habits – 14%
• Shared religious beliefs – 14%

Also earning votes were financial stability or success (13%), sexual competence (9%), political alignment (7%), ambition (7%), and the ability to cope with stress or uncertainty (6%).

Perhaps surprisingly, traditional markers like financial stability weren’t at the top for most respondents. The strong showing for honesty and compassion may point to a change in what daters now want from their relationships.

Singles are rewriting the relationship rulebook, putting real connection and emotional support ahead of things like financial stability. For many singles, our results show, character comes first when building a relationship with integrity, and everything else follows.

Gen X (56%) and Boomers (58%): They Value Honesty, Yet Report the Most Cheating

Our study also turned up generational gaps among respondents who prize honesty.

Older generations, we found, cared far more than younger ones about honesty in a romantic partner. Half of Gen X (50%) and 54% of boomers put honesty in their top three.

Gen Z (36%) and millennials (43%) came in lower by comparison, though they still ranked honesty highly.

There may be a reason for this generational split, though. According to our study, Gen X and boomers are more likely than other generations to have suspected a partner of cheating.

Among Gen X, 56% said they had suspected a partner of cheating at some point; among boomers, 58% said so. The figures were 43% for millennials and 35% for Gen Z.

The results suggest honesty may become more valuable as people get older. Younger adults still see it as an important trait, but they may pick it less often because they have less relationship experience and have run into mistrust fewer times.

The more dishonesty people run into in their relationships, the more likely they are to look for honesty in the connections that come next.

LGBTQ+ Singles Are 2X as Likely to Name Political Alignment Their Top Trait

Close to half of non-LGBTQ+ participants named honesty as a top relationship trait, but only 38% of LGBTQ+ singles did.

That’s not the only difference. Political alignment, our results show, matters far more to LGBTQ+ respondents than to other singles: 14% of LGBTQ+ singles consider it a top relationship trait, compared with just 6% of cis-het people.

“In a time of growing political backlash, differing political views may become a bigger dealbreaker in a community that may feel more vulnerable in a divisive landscape.”

That may reflect a stronger political identity, or a greater need for shared values, within the LGBTQ+ community. With political backlash on the rise, clashing political views could turn into a bigger dealbreaker for a community that could feel more exposed in a divided climate.

Not surprisingly, LGBTQ+ and cis-het groups also split on religion. Compared with LGBTQ+ participants, non-LGBTQ+ participants were likelier to call shared religious beliefs important, which suggests religion matters less to LGBTQ+ singles.

Emotional intelligence also ranked high for the LGBTQ+ community. LGBTQ+ singles ranked it 4th, while cis-het groups ranked it 8th. In all, 28% of LGBTQ+ singles surveyed say a romantic partner must have emotional intelligence, compared with 18% of cis-het singles.

The study shows LGBTQ+ singles and non-LGBTQ+ singles agreeing that honesty and kindness rank as top priorities, but their consensus stops there.

LGBTQ+ singles put more weight on emotional intelligence, politics, and shared values, while cis-het singles stress physical attraction, dependability, and religion.

There’s no denying that honesty is now a staple of the modern dating playbook. Singles of every background can agree it’s an essential trait when looking for a romantic relationship.

When it comes to dating, honesty isn’t the exception. It’s the key to building serious connections at a time when singles crave authenticity more than they ever have.

Methodology

Researchers at the Kinsey Institute led “The State of Us: National Study on Modern Love & Dating in 2025.”

Prodege.com collected the data with an online survey between April 29 and May 8, 2025, reaching 2,000 single adults in the U.S. aged 18 to 91, a nationally representative sample. The sample was balanced for gender, age, race/ethnicity, household income, and geographic region. The margin of error is ±3 percentage points, with 95% confidence.