Koiji Matches People by Core Values and ‘Why’ Questions

The Short Version: One-size-fits-all dating apps are playing the numbers. Their goal is to cast the widest possible net when looking for reasons to match users, and some even rely on imprecise pseudoscience to pair people up. Koiji is a new app with a different approach. Its 37-question matching system bypasses surface-level similarities to reach the sometimes counterintuitive reasons behind how people think and feel. On Koiji, matches are more authentic, and the relationships that form last longer and mean more.

The first moments after you meet someone new are thrilling. Love and romance sharpen the senses with the anticipation of adventure and fresh horizons.

When you want something serious, the pressure to show your best self without seeming fake can be frightening. And even if you’re nowhere near thinking about a long-term relationship, the getting-to-know-you stage probably isn’t the moment to wave your flaws around on a flag.

Lots of dating apps try to take out the guesswork by pairing people based on what they share. Some matching methods aim higher than others, but the idea behind all of them is to find common ground and let shared ideas become the foundation of a bond.

Still, if we can agree on nothing else, surely we can agree that relationships are scientifically complicated. An app having a matching method doesn’t make that method a law of the universe.

That makes Koiji a welcome breath of fresh air. The brand-new dating app, built by a team in London that Founder and CEO Alexander Mitchell leads, is the result of six years spent researching philosophy and psychology, with the aim of digging into the reasons behind relationships more deeply than any app has before.

Just because two people both want a family, it doesn’t follow that their reasons match. Koiji (Japanese for love path) relies on a 37-item questionnaire to get at the “why” behind people’s personal preferences. If you want an app that helps you connect with purpose and form a bond around shared values, Koiji was made for you.

“When we looked at the market, we saw a lot of pseudoscience,” Alexander said. “We help you tell people who you are as a person.”

Seeming Compatible vs. Being Compatible

If dating apps always did their job, you’d only ever need one once, unless that’s your style. Koiji isn’t built for casual use. According to the Koiji website, it’s for people seeking the “one who feels like home,” people in search of long-term love.

“It’s about understanding people for who they fundamentally are,” Alexander said.

Koiji really is brand-new. It had only just come out of beta testing in spring 2024, when this article was published, and early access was offered on the homepage to anyone who registered with an email address.

Alexander and his team have launched a Substack and published an article there on how Koiji was developed. Koiji also has a company page on LinkedIn and a growing following on Instagram. Its core idea: On Koiji, a relationship begins with a conversation rather than a swipe.

“Genuine compatibility is based not on shared opinions but values,” Alexander explained. The “why” questions are designed to address exactly those compatibilities.

Koiji takes a new approach to online dating.

“Two people can be incompatible despite sharing a number of opinions in common,” according to the Koiji Substack article. “This is because the most important determinant of compatibility is in the reason you have for holding the opinion you do.”

Consider a religious person and a nonreligious person who both want a family, each for completely different reasons. If two such people got married, they’d probably also agree on which values to pass on to a child.

Yet answering that child’s “why” question would reveal the self-deception at the core of the relationship leaving the pair exposed. That’s where superficial dating apps tend to fall short.

“As the relationship goes on, the why becomes more important,” Alexander said.

A Questionnaire That Digs Into Deep Motivations

On the flip side, Alexander said, apparent incompatibility is less of a problem than many assume. Two people considering a relationship might disagree on some issue or preference, yet end up agreeing if they arrive at their positions through a similar analytical approach.

That’s how some couples manage to bridge religious or political divides. Those differences can seem superficial when there’s a real foundation rooted in shared philosophical or psychological ground.

According to Alexander, the questionnaire on Koiji explores core values in personal matters, relationships, politics, and morality. The questions are framed as propositions, and the only answer options are agree or disagree.

Some questions look like mundane musings on life’s purpose; others tackle far more polarizing topics. Yet even the everyday ones go deep.

The Koiji questionnaire builds detailed profiles.

Say a Koiji member says her life’s purpose is to find happiness through service. Koiji then wants to understand what kind of service she means and who it’s for, or what motivates it.

The member can’t just stay vague and state a general wish to serve people. Koiji wants the target spelled out in fine detail: service to family, to nation, and so on. Polarizing questions on issues such as abortion, meanwhile, ask members to pick from ethical reasons on either side.

“These are extensive questions that give us a deep dive into the why,” Alexander said. “We’re not squeamish about what we ask.”

The questions imply that members can only find lasting love by uncovering and sharing what drives them and the reasons behind it. Before a member appears on the app, every question must be answered.

“It’s really to the point,” Alexander said. “It has to be to work.”

A Dating App That Feels Human

Koiji came out of beta testing with plenty of positive comments from testers. According to Alexander, the main feedback was that users saw the product’s value once they finished the questionnaire, before they’d even experienced the app’s UI/UX. The questionnaire had a 98% completion rate among beta testers.

“To us, that’s great because it means the perceived value is high,” Alexander said.

Users said they felt Koiji let them evaluate potential connections with very little guesswork. Being able to share deep thoughts about things that mattered to them made the app far more enjoyable. Beta testers who matched on Koiji often moved on to substantive, fulfilling conversations within days.

The team built Koiji for growth with an unusual architecture. Members get a profile link they can share, and anyone who clicks it lands directly on that member’s profile in a web app.

Koiji looks past surface traits to real compatibility.

“Recipients can start answering the questions, and senders can see their compatibility with them,” Alexander said. “We help our members understand who they’re compatible with in other apps and even among current dating partners.”

As a result, Koiji can reach into any other app network around the world. Online products usually guard their value closely, but the Koiji team’s goal is decentralized profiles that users can take anywhere, online or off.

In Alexander’s view, Koiji is a model of two things the dating app industry needs: personalization and individuation, meaning what sets one person apart from all others. Not everyone will want a rigorous scientific approach to judging compatibility, but those who do know exactly who they are.

For those people, who may see an app as a last resort, Koiji cuts through the noise and gets to the core of what drives them and their potential partners.
“We’re fundamentally concerned with fixing the problem,” Alexander said.