Dating in the Countryside: 3 Tips for LGBTQ+ Singles

Honestly? Dating wears you out sometimes. Add a small-town address to the mix, and the choices shrink while the answers get harder to spot.

Anyone would get discouraged swiping through the same four people again and again. Believe me, I’ve lived it! All through my single years, I kept asking myself, “Is there a secret handbook out there that will help me find my person?”

Are you LGBTQ+ and hunting for answers? Take a look at the useful dating strategies from Kara Laricks, an LGBTQ+ date coach and matchmaker with Three Day Rule.

Kara wants to help queer singles build meaningful connections and move through the dating scene with confidence and know-how.

She has watched LGBTQ+ singles struggle in rural areas, where chances to date can be scarce. So she came up with three sharp dating tips aimed at people in small towns who want love, or, failing that, a solid first date.

1. Expand Your Search Range

The limited dating pool is among the toughest parts of dating somewhere rural. It can seem more like a shallow kiddie pool than anything deep.

Cap your search at a 10-mile radius around a small town, and you’ll likely keep running into the same profiles again and again.

“First things first, the pool is small,” Kara said. “That’s out of your control. So focus on those things that are within your control — like choosing dating apps where you can set your parameters wide beyond your small town.” 

Many apps let you change location filters so your search covers nearby cities or whole regions. Some even let you look in another country.

Meeting dates this way takes more work and maybe a few road trips, but it widens the circle of people you can meet.

I spent two years in a long-distance relationship, so I can tell you that dating someone outside your ZIP code is hard, but it’s far from impossible.

It really comes down to figuring out what you want and what you’ll do to get it. Personally, I’d happily drive 90 minutes to meet someone who looks like a great match rather than sit through one more so-so date.

2. Pick Apps That Offer Travel Features

Dating apps aren’t all the same. Like I said above, some have location tools that help you cast a wider net.

If your current platforms only show you profiles close by, I’d suggest exploring other options.

For anyone in a small town, an app that lets you browse other cities is essential, particularly if you can afford to travel. There’s no better way to find out who else wants what you want.

“Choose a dating app where you can change your own location to a different city, and you can actually shop in that city and perhaps match prior to a vacation or just a fun trip to a new place,” Kara told us. 

Grindr and SCRUFF, two popular apps, are common picks for travel dating. Each one lets you browse other cities and line up dates before you’ve even left your hometown. Pretty cool, right?

Heading to Chicago soon, or off to see a friend over in Amsterdam? Swiping can start today, so you can arrange a date or two before it’s time to pack.

In my view, this approach makes any trip more exciting, since there’s something to look forward to. Besides seeing a new place, you might find romance somewhere new.

3. Sign Up for Free Matchmaking Databases

Many people assume matchmaking is reserved for big-city singles or anyone with a fat bank account. That isn’t always the case! Among Kara’s best tips for singles: join matchmaking databases.

“Take advantage of freebies,” said Kara. “Join matchmaking databases for free. We work with clients all across the country.” 

Matchmaking that’s free, nationwide? My jaw dropped too when I heard. You don’t have to be paying a matchmaker to stay in the running as a possible date.

At Three Day Rule, singles can add themselves to the database at no cost, and the matchmakers occasionally get in touch when a client they’re working with might be a great fit. A match isn’t guaranteed, but it gets your hat in the ring.

Three Day Rule offers a free membership.

As Kara noted, this hack works wherever you live, since location isn’t the dealbreaker it used to be.

“Never assume that just because you’re rooted somewhere, everyone else is rooted where they are. Post-pandemic opened the door for so many people to work remotely and would be more than happy to travel for the right match,” said Kara. 

The upshot? You have more room to date people both nearby and far away. Your person might work remotely out of Austin yet be willing to relocate to San Jose if the connection is right.

Put Your Energy Into What You Can Control

Small-town life can leave you feeling powerless to meet anyone new, never mind find dates. Kara’s reminder to queer singles: shift into a positive mindset and pursue what you really want, even if it sits a bit beyond your city limits.

Your town’s demographics may be out of your hands, but Kara stresses that your approach to dating isn’t. That means taking more initiative.

Love may require you to go the distance, literally! Plan a weekend trip to a bigger city and line up matches ahead of time. Or try virtual speed events, or a few different dating apps. Get in the habit of saying yes to new opportunities.

Much of this may push you past your comfort zone, but these steps can ultimately lead you to the person who’s most compatible with you. With the Three Day Rule team and experts like Kara on your side, the right match might be a lot closer than you’d guess.

“Remember, in the end, it’s more important to get someone who is compatible, not just geographically convenient,” advised Kara. “Happy Pride, happy dating, and may you find your person.”