Inside a Matchmaker’s Process: How Meaningful Matches Happen

The Short Version: Matchmaking is catching on as more singles look for ways to meet offline. Matchmaker Lisa Amador walked us through how the process works, why singles turn to it, and a few common misconceptions about being introduced by a pro.

There are countless paths to finding the love of your life. Take my parents: they found each other in a grad school sociology class. They’d grown up only miles apart, in different Buffalo, New York, neighborhoods, yet their paths didn’t cross until that fateful graduate course.

A friend of mine is getting married next year to a fiancée who is perfect for him; the two are genuinely best friends. They connected on Bumble when both were on the verge of quitting online dating.

When I was in college, a coworker at the restaurant where I worked was determined to ask one of our regulars on a date. Our bartender kept telling her not to and urged her to look for romance beyond the bar. She never did find the nerve to ask the regular, but before long the bartender found the nerve to ask her, and the rest is history.

Amador Matchmaking was founded by Lisa Amador.

How we connect with people, romantically most of all, tends to be messy and surprising. No single method of meeting someone is correct; what counts is finding the method that works for you.

Matchmaking takes a lot of the complexity out of dating and puts a dating professional’s hands-on help at singles’ disposal. A matchmaker isn’t just pulling names from a hat and sending people out together; they set up deliberate introductions that change lives.

Lisa Amador serves as CEO and head matchmaker at Amador Matchmaking, a California-based introductions service with a global reach. She spoke with us about what couples can expect from matchmaking and cleared up some common misconceptions about her field.

“Why wouldn’t you hire somebody who’s going to make your experience better?” Lisa said. “Matchmakers get you to where you want to be. We’re skilled and experienced and know the ins and outs of dating in a way that the average single may not.”

What Makes a Matchmaker Great

Lisa was an accountant before she became a matchmaker. When one of her closest friends launched a Washington, D.C., matchmaking agency, Lisa began helping out in her spare time because she liked the work.

“That friend is the one who encouraged me to do matchmaking,” Lisa said. “I was going through a transition in my life where I wanted to shift directions with my professional career. After working with her, I realized that matchmaking was my calling. I just loved it.”

What Lisa loves most about the job, she said, is getting to know every client. A matchmaker has to understand clients personally in order to tailor introductions to them, and the best matchmakers build genuine relationships with the people they serve.

Find a matchmaker who’s prepared to take the reins of your dating life.

Great matchmakers are choosy, too. “First, I make sure I have the right clients,” Lisa explained. “I don’t take on clients who we don’t think we can match. We’re a very boutique business and are very selective in the clients we take on.”

There’s a good reason many matchmakers are exclusive. The process works best when a matchmaker has the time and resources to concentrate on each person and their goals. Overload the roster, and clients miss out on the individual attention they need.

Lisa checks that a potential client is ready for matchmaking before signing them. The service is meant for singles who want a long-term partnership and are prepared for one; being ready for commitment involves far more than simply choosing to hire a matchmaker.

“Anyone we take on knows themselves, has a lot to offer, and just isn’t finding the right person,” Lisa explained. “We make sure they don’t have issues in their life that would impact the relationship negatively. They’re realistic and ready for the journey.”

Amador Keeps It Confidential

At Amador Matchmaking, everything revolves around confidentiality and a highly personal experience. The process is built so singles can relax and savor the best parts of dating while the rest is handled for them.

Each prospective client starts with an intake interview. “One of my lead matchmakers will jump on a call and make sure we’re the right match,” Lisa told us. “We’ll ask them questions about what they’re looking for and we explain to them what it’s like to be a matchmaking client.”

That first call gives the client a clearer picture of matchmaking and lets the Amador team judge whether the company suits them. If the team believes it does, the client meets with Lisa, who figures out which program fits best: matchmaking, help with online dating, or dating coaching.

Clients all over the U.S. work with Amador Matchmaking.

Wherever clients are on their dating path, Amador has a service to back them up. For those not suited to matchmaking, date coaching is a starting point, with Lisa and her team helping them set realistic dating goals and reach them.

Clients can also learn to be their own matchmakers, getting hands-on professional help to master both the science and the art of online dating. Dating coaches work with them on dating strategy, appealing profiles, and handling the letdowns that dating sometimes brings.

For Lisa, the introductions are the most thrilling part. “Usually, clients are excited because we’ve done great vetting and they’re ready for a date,” she said. “We talk to our client and their date after each introduction, so we can get a better feel and make better matches.”

Matchmaking only works when the client and matchmaker are both clear and honest. Clients need to feel at ease with the person matching them so they can speak candidly about past dates and what they want going forward.

Is Matchmaking a Good Fit for You?

Matchmaking has a long history and is gaining fans, but people still get some things wrong about it. One myth is that it’s a last resort for singles who’ve run out of options.

According to Lisa, nothing could be further from the truth.

“The biggest misconception I hear as a matchmaker is why my clients can’t find people on their own,” Lisa said. “I would love it if people shifted their mindsets because, quite honestly, a person who hires a matchmaker knows exactly who they are.”

Her clients, she said, understand what they bring to the table and what they want from a committed relationship. Matchmaking suits busy singles who can’t afford to waste time on dates with people whose goals don’t match their own.

With matchmaking, singles gain a professional’s guidance.

Knowing yourself counts for a lot in dating. If you understand who you are and what you want, and you stay true to that, you’ll be better at telling which people and experiences are likely to pay off. That self-awareness gives daters what they need to date authentically.

A great matchmaker respects who a client is and what they’re after, and can remind them of both when the going gets tough. After deciding to hire a matchmaker, a single should look for the one best suited to their situation.

Matchmakers specialize in different locations and age ranges. Lisa urged singles to seek out a matchmaker who serves their niche and relies on high-quality matching networks and databases.

“Most matchmaking clients are professionals, and they hire other professionals to get jobs done,” Lisa said. “We’re one of them. We have a skill they may not, and we help them accomplish their goals with less heartache.”