A Jewish Matchmaker Who Turns Love Lives Into Romantic Comedies

The Short Version: Matchmaker Jessica Fass treats clients to a movie-star makeover that boosts their confidence, restores their belief in love, and pairs them with their dream partner. Jessica, who founded the Jewish matchmaking business Fass Pass to Love, turns Jewish singles, conservative and secular alike, into the leads of their own rom-coms.

Nowhere does true love seem more within reach than inside a movie theater, popcorn in one hand and tissues in the other. Once the credits roll, though, doubt can sneak in. When will your dream man or woman fall from the heavens? Where’s your big-screen romance?

Matchmaker Jessica Fass fell for the swoon-worthy couples of classic rom-coms, yet she understood that real love is far rarer and more mysterious than any 90-minute movie suggests. Through Fass Pass to Love, the company she founded, Jessica helps Jewish singles become the stars of their very own rom-coms.

“I tell this to my clients: You’re starring in your own romantic comedy, and it wouldn’t be a good movie if the two leads are together from the beginning, if there’s no conflict and you don’t have to work for it,” Jessica told us. 

Jessica Fass, a matchmaker, helps clients turn their rom-com fantasies into reality.

Jessica is a Jewish woman who has been on both sides of matchmaking, so she knows how Jewish singles deal with cultural and religious differences. Adding romance to the process with a rom-com-style makeover can lighten the mood, build confidence, and make clients more open to new experiences.

Her clients arrive with all sorts of values, cultural identities, and backgrounds, but Jessica sees to it that they walk away equipped to find lasting love. Cheesy love songs aren’t required (though they’re definitely encouraged).

Experience and Star Power Fuel Jessica’s Matchmaking

Jessica is an L.A. native, but it was living in Tel Aviv that deepened her ties to her cultural roots, and that city is where Fass Pass to Love got its start.

“Living in Israel makes me unique,” she told us. “(So does) the fact that I have people on my team that are all international Jews as well … We understand all the religious levels and all the mentalities.”

Her matchmaking draws on a broad range of experience, from growing up secular and Jewish to her years in culturally traditional Tel Aviv. Most of her clients identify with conservative, reform, or secular Judaism, which she describes as “lighter levels of observance.”

She started Fass Pass to Love to help Jewish singles act out their rom-com fantasies in real life, a goal that grew from her own years as a single woman searching for love. “I got married at 40. I will always know what it’s like to be single later. I’m not someone who got married at 25 and doesn’t know the struggle,” she told us.

If you’re thinking of hiring Fass Pass to Love, you can relax: its matchmakers all hold full certification. Jessica has collaborated with top talent; on the Netflix show “Jewish Matchmaking,” for instance, she was a Consulting Producer.

Clients get a movie-star makeover from their matchmakers, professional photo shoot included.

Prospective clients hear first from Lori Fass, Fass Pass’ Director of Client Relations, who happens to be Jessica’s mother. Besides being her daughter’s business partner, Lori is a dating coach herself and drops in now and then with wise advice. Jessica’s husband, Brian, pitches in too, writing VIP Client Profiles and offering a man’s view of the dating world.

Clients get a movie-star makeover from their matchmakers, professional photo shoot included.

Once matchmaking gets underway, Jessica puts clients through something unusual: a full head-to-toe makeover. “Everybody gets a dedicated relationship coach and a dedicated matchmaker,” she explained. “And we do fashion styling, depending on which package (the client chooses).”

Stylists can update a client’s hairstyle, too, and advise men on facial hair. The makeover ends with a moment every rom-com fan dreams of. “(Clients) get a professional photo shoot,” Jessica said.

A makeover might sound daunting, but nobody’s asking you to become a different person. “It’s just like a 2.0 version of you,” Jessica explained. “I really feel like I’ve made it like a romantic comedy.”

How much coaching each client gets depends on where they are in their own dating journey, and on whether they’re really ready for what matchmaking demands.

Clients Know What They’re After and Aren’t Afraid of Feedback

“The people that fight us don’t listen to us. They’re not as happy at the end because they don’t see the transformation. They weren’t doing the work.” That’s why, Jessica said, Fass Pass to Love sees its ideal client as someone ready to change.

“The ideal clients that are the best fit for us are 20s-40s, never married, no kids, but they want marriage and kids. Or maybe they are divorced with one kid, and they want more,” Jessica said. “I’ve had clients like in their 50s or 60s that just want a Jewish partner, but they’ve already had their kids and so they just want that companion.” 

What matters most in an ideal client is openness to feedback, whether it comes from the dating coaches and matchmakers or from the people they date.

“We call everyone up after the first three dates with a new match [and ask for feedback]. If you get three types of feedback that are similar about you from three different people, that’s when we’re like, OK, maybe there’s something to work on here,” Jessica told us. 

Jessica urges clients to stay open-minded about feedback.

Feedback can sting, but it might expose a habit you never noticed that’s keeping you from a lasting connection. “It’s not just one person’s opinion … You can’t improve unless you get feedback,” Jessica pointed out.

For Jewish singles, though, knowing precisely what level of religious observance you want matters just as much.

“Sometimes people are confused about what level of Judaism they want to be,” Jessica said. “They thought they could be with someone less or more, and then they realize they can’t.” 

Jessica tells clients to concentrate on what they themselves value, since that should make it simpler to pick a partner who shares them. “The people that are too wide, we get them to focus more. The people that are too narrow — ‘I only want this age, this height, and this exact political level and level of Judaism’ — have to open that, because that’s why you’re single.”

Keeping an Open Mind Can Get You to Happily Ever After

According to Jessica, broadening your worldview is essential to finding love that lasts. “My biggest tip for singles of any religion, of any background, is to be open-minded to people that are against your type.” Stick to dating just one type, and you may miss out on other meaningful connections.

Being too hard on dates who are slow to text back, or who aren’t great at reading social cues, carries the same risk. “It breaks my heart to think about how many missed matches there are in the world where, if people had a matchmaker in the middle, they might have given each other the second or third date,” Jessica confessed.

“You can’t kill a plant when it’s trying to bloom, right? You have to be patient and keep giving it sunlight and water.”

With clients, Jessica raises what she calls an “eternal question”: “What’s a dealbreaker and what’s a preference?”

Clients taking Fass Pass to Love’s Matchability Self-Test have to be honest and open to new ideas.

Using that Matchability Self-Test, she helps clients sort out which dealbreakers are really just preferences and which can’t be budged. “If I’m going to take you on as a client, you need to be open on four out of the eight (categories),” she said.

Most clients will bend on some categories, like divorce status, physical appearance, or age range, while holding firm on values in others. Jessica encourages clients to stand their ground on children, level of religious observance, and political views. “If people cannot unstick on these, it’s totally acceptable,” she noted.

In the end, though, an open mind, plus a supportive matchmaking team, truly gives clients their best shot at lasting love. “We’re one of those firms that really likes to tell the truth and be completely authentic and honest and realistic,” Jessica told us.

Fairy godmothers are shockingly scarce off-screen, but Jessica and the Fass Pass to Love team come close. “If you listen to everyone on the team, you are going to find your person,” she said.