A Lifestyle Platform Built by Non-Monogamous People, for Them

The Short Version: Kasidie is a web-based social community that makes connecting easier for people drawn to ENM, swinging, kink, and every other kind of non-monogamous lifestyle. We spoke with founders Scott and Nicoleta Purcell about why they launched the site, what it offers, and how it’s changing the way non-monogamous daters connect online.

Each dating app has its own features and tools that set it apart. Each one also carries a cultural reputation, and that shapes who signs up and how they use it.

Plenty of younger daters, for instance, see Tinder as more of a casual dating app than, say, Hinge, which was deliberately “designed to be deleted.” You can still fall in love through Tinder or land a hookup through Hinge, but the platform you pick will shape your online dating experience.

Daters who fall outside the typical pool do better on an app built for their niche. For anyone living a non-monogamous lifestyle, picking the right platform is a must. Some apps won’t let couples set up shared profiles, and trying it could even get you banned.

On top of that, community-building isn’t the focus of most dating apps. Depending on how they live, a lot of non-monogamous singles and couples want solid, long-standing communities where the other members practice non-monogamy too.

Platforms for non-monogamous dating do more than help people find dates. They also link members to groups, communities, and events.

Kasidie: the ENM platform built by the community, for the community.

The best way to explore a non-monogamous lifestyle is through a platform you trust, one that meets the particular needs of ENM daters. Kasidie is a dating site that people inside the non-monogamous world built for everyone in it.

We sat down with Kasidie founders Scott and Nicoleta Purcell to hear about their own history with non-monogamy and what inspired the platform. The couple decided to build Kasidie once they saw that non-monogamous people had no platform created by others who actually lived the lifestyle.

“We felt it’s important that people can express their sexuality and find fulfillment in ways that are specific to them as individuals, and with their partner or partners,” Scott said. “Kasidie is an outlet for exploring non-monogamy in a safe and ethical way.”

Getting Into the Lifestyle

For several years now, Scott and Nicoleta have been part of the lifestyle, another name for swinging. Before the two met, Scott said, he’d been trying out various sides of non-monogamous dating.

“I was always dating a number of women at the same time, and I was always very open and honest about that,” Scott said. “I was just never monogamous. I dated a few women who introduced me to swinger parties.”

He liked the swinger parties and built relationships in swinging circles. Once he and Nicoleta began dating, he brought her along to the parties. According to Scott, he relied on online boards and platforms to track down parties, but finding a group where they both fit in was hard.

Finding your ENM community matters.

“One of the first swinger parties we went to was not right for us,” Scott said. “They weren’t quite our people, and it ended up being uncomfortable and awkward. I did better research to make sure the next party would be more our speed– and actually fun.”

They did land on a platform they liked for events, Scott said, but it had a flaw in how it worked. “We were on another site that really served the community, but the people who were running it and their staff weren’t actually in the lifestyle, they were just profiting off it.”

The couple set out to build a platform that would organize events well while also serving what people in the lifestyle specifically need. “In non-monogamy, people are very different, even between couples, and sites need to be specific, not general,” Scott explained.

On Kasidie, people anywhere on the non-monogamy spectrum can find the connections and events that suit them. Because Scott and Nicoleta know the lifestyle from the inside, they could build in the features non-monogamous daters actually need.

Kink, Swinging, Group Play & More

On Kasidie, members can build detailed profiles, talk about their experiences, and meet people with similar values and interests. The site puts a premium on being a supportive, judgment-free space online.

According to Scott, Kasidie puts privacy and discretion first. For some members, the site is their first step into non-monogamy, and those newcomers tend to prize staying anonymous.

You don’t need a real name on your profile, and there’s a range of privacy tools: you can turn off notifications, hide your profile from search results, and use blocking.

Whatever kind of connection members want, from a swinger party to a one-night stand, they can find it on Kasidie. For anyone hoping to meet people fast, the Connect Instantly feature is ideal: a few quick clicks put you in touch with people whose values and interests match yours.

Kasidie’s wide range of features serves members with very different needs.

Members can start group chats, post event listings, and share where they’re traveling. The Kasidie blog is a strong resource for anyone exploring non-monogamy, with articles on BDSM and kink, the hotwife lifestyle, and how swinging works.

Members can find each other by what they want, whether that’s kink play, groups, or couples. The event listings cover gatherings all over the United States and around the world, from resorts and cruises to other travel options.

Everyone on Kasidie is free to explore and reach out, Nicoleta said, but the site centers on women. “It is driven by the women,” she explained. “And we keep it real in the community. People have to get certified to attend parties or write in forums.”

Kasidie Makes Starting Your Adventure Easy

In the days before the internet, word-of-mouth was usually how people heard about swinging parties, and Scott and Nicoleta made that idea central to Kasidie.

“We built the site from the ground up through word-of-mouth,” Nicoleta told us. “We don’t have marketing campaigns or paid advertising—members referring other members is how we’ve grown.”

Kasidie has room for any ENM experience you have in mind.

Finding your way in non-monogamy can be tough, particularly when you’re new to it. Scott said that connecting with like-minded communities makes it easier and more fun. Kasidie takes pride in its supportive, privacy-conscious user base of people seeking genuine non-monogamous experiences.

Members get to learn from one another and pick up insight about the lifestyle from those living it. “On Kasidie there is a huge diversity in our membership– all genders, sexualities, orientations– and we’re going to keep growing with that,” Scott said.

Of everything Kasidie gives non-monogamous daters, Scott and Nicoleta said one quality rises above the rest: how open it is.

“There’s a liberating effect of not being tied to these societal constructs of monogamy, especially if they’re causing friction and unhappiness in people’s lives,” Scott said. “Our hope is that it continues to become more accepted.”